my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
