I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
