Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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