ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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