Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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