do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
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