So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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