idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
