She said her name was "party"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
