$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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