I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
