I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
