My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
