okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
