She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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