I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
