Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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