She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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