in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it's great music for shaving your balls
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
