I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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