thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
