my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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