Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
