This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
