My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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