We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Mom said you looked used
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
