Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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