Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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