what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
