i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
