He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
