dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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