i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
