Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
