4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
