The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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