She is in my trunk
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
