I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
