I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
