i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
