I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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