He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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