yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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