some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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