sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
