from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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