Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
