YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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