wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
