I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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