you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
