Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
