Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
