i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i dont even know how to be here
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
