I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
